Checklists are not automatic tickets to success in any endeavour or your relationships at that, however, they go a long way in ensuring that we think thoroughly to capture every imaginable action or responsibility in order to have a successful project completion (my definition).
The Oxford dictionary defines checklists as a list of items required, things to be done, or points to be considered, used as a reminder.
So what are the things to be considered before going into any relationship?
This isn’t an exhaustive list, but they will sure help in processing your thoughts.
The first are your beliefs.
Can two walk together except they agree on the same things, ideology, have the same mindset? What are your strong beliefs?
Do you believe in Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour and he doesn’t? Do you believe that a woman should get to the zenith of her career and he doesn’t? Do you believe in tithing in your local church, while he believes that giving alms is enough? Does he believe it is a woman’s job to stay at home while, while the man works and brings home the money? Does he complain every time you go for worker’s meeting while he hangs out with the boys? I’m wondering why he isn’t at the meeting with you.
A guy once asked me if I was the one that killed Jesus… guess what? I am not married to him today. What are your strong beliefs, and what are the things that matter to you the most?
The second point is your background or experiences.
Permit me to say that some ladies are unwise in their dealings with men. You constantly saw your mum physically abused by your dad, and the guy you’re dating at the moment is doing the same to you, and when confronted by your friends, you are quick to make excuses for him, saying “I shouldn’t have annoyed him”. I shake my head for you. Are you a lab rat?
Ladies, how do you see yourself? Men treat you the way they perceive you to be. When you come across as needy, they shove you aside. When you come across as strong and whole, you are highly respected.
What are you currently enduring that should have exited your life a long time ago? Are enduring the physical abuse, mental abuse, psychological abuse, sexual abuse, verbal abuse because of the fear that you have nowhere to go?
I once broke up a relationship when I noticed that an integral part of my list was not being met.Ladies dismiss your fears. What you are willing to walk away from determines what God will bring your way.
So what does a typical girl’s list look like?
Tall, dark, handsome, money, cars, attention, social status, furnished appartment, trendy look, religion etc.
What my own list looked like:
Top on my #checklist was the Fear of God. I wanted a man that feared God. When a man fears God, he is careful about the way he treats you.
Next was purpose. I was purpose conscious, and I wanted someone with the same mind set. I believe we were all created by God to fulfil a purpose on earth, and dating someone with the same mindset was very crucial for me.
Respect for Authority was equally important. I wanted someone who respected the people over him. He must have respect for parents, elders, pastors, and anyone in authority whether small or great.
A guy is likely to treat you the way he treats his family. Don’t be quick to go on dates outside your home. Let him spend time with your family, and you, his; after a while, when he is himself and relaxed, his true nature would begin to come to the fore.
Integrity was also high on my list. I wanted someone I could trust in every area; emotionally, financially etc. Is my husband perfect? Of course not, but you can see a man always yearning to please God and do what is right.
The other things? Vision, mutual respect, kindness, hardworking, Innovation, and the list is endless.
I have shared a few points off my #checklist with you. Why not write out yours today, and if you are very bold, you could share yours with other ladies using our hashtag #WisdomForSinglesAndMarried