HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR SPOUSE?
Last week we discussed a bit about each individual having an emotional tank, and also shared a few ideas on what to do to fill up each other’s tank. I want to believe we tried out one or two things during this past week.
Today, we would delve deeper into that topic, and the question I want to ask is this: How well do you know your spouse?
I know you know his favourite colour and shoe size, and he your dress size and body statistics; but my question today is how much do you know each other? What makes your partner tick?
You cannot fully understand, enjoy, or satisfy your spouse if you do not really know him or her.
Have you had times when you bought a device or clothing item and had to look at the manual or tag for instructions on how to care for the item? I’m sure we all have. The same goes for your spouse. You need to find out what he or she wants and needs per time and try to adapt yourself to these needs.
I said per time because we go through different phases in life, and each phase comes with its own realities, and these realities require certain responses which each spouse should be able to discern in order to meet the need(s) at hand.
What am I saying in essence? Learn to ‘feel’ your spouse. Put down your phones as often as you can and listen.
Ask about her day or find out why he’s had a long face for 2 days.
Listening to your spouse can save a life. Learning to listen will make your marriage stronger.
Why has she been nagging lately? Why does he no longer eat at home? Why has he refused to go to work? and why isn’t he coming to the family union with the rest of the family.
When you not getting the usual vibes, please ask questions and take your time to listen. If he/she isnt opening up, you should learn to wait till he/she is willing to talk. Your presence or a simple hug might be the healing balm.
When you sense that your spouse is being secretive about an issue, you need to ask questions. If he or she is being evasive, confront him or her.
It is important to nip marital issues, and issues in general in the bud before they get out of hand
1) Take it easy on your spouse, he might be going through something he isn’t willing to share yet.
2) Be patient with him/her
3) When you’re not getting a headway, talk to someone, preferably a mature third party
4) Pray for your spouse, by doing this, the influence of God is released over him/ her and the situation
5) When things are getting out of hand, speak out
6) And lastly, whatever the issue is, tell yourself “we are in this together”
I’d like to stop here for now. Until next time, it’s Wisdom for Singles and Married.
Enjoy the week ahead.