PODCAST LINK FOR FINDING YOU BEFORE FINDING MR. RIGHT

Good morning Everyone. Welcome to a beautiful second half of the year.
If you missed the tweet chat on #WisdomForMarriedAndSingles last Friday, you can catch up by clicking on the link below.
Today, we would be discussing practical ways to attract the right  man for you. Time is 7pm on twitter. #WisdomForMarriedAndSingles
Thank you

@fathersgirls

FINDING YOU BEFORE FINDING MR. RIGHT – SoundCloud

Listen to FINDING YOU BEFORE FINDING MR. RIGHT by Lola Tewe #np on #SoundCloud

FINDING YOU BEFORE YOU FIND MR. RIGHT

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Hello everyone. Wisdom For Singles and Married kicked off today, and I’d like to say a big thank you to everyone that joined in the chat.

Please find the full notes below.

Like I said during my broadcast earlier this week, this series was inspired by the need to answer questions that I believe are in every woman’s heart regarding their relationship and even other women across the globe (dreaming big right?) Yeah!!!

Let me say before we kick off that our discussions would be faith based, and the reason is because God created the idea of marriage, and if we are going to go about it the right way, then we would need to go with the manual. Now don’t tune off yet, we will also use some common sense and ensure our discussions are balanced. If you are cool with this, then let’s get down to business.

We all thrive on relationships. If we are ever going to accomplish anything at all in life, we will need people.

Some relationships are for a season of our lives, they are temporal, while some others are supposed to last a lifetime. Your marriage is one of such. Your relationship with your husband is supposed to last as long as both of you are alive.

I am sure we have all seen or heard of broken marriages, abusive marriages, troubled marriages and all, and if marriages are supposed to last a life time, do we encourage these people to stay locked-in in spite of their challenges? We will get to these topics in the coming weeks. However, today, I would like to focus on our Singles.

Ladies, getting married is not the end of the world, it is the beginning of an integral part of your life; a school you never graduate from till the end of your life. Marriage will make you better or bitter depending on whom you decide to go on the journey with, and this is the main reason why you need to choose right.

Many ladies ask what it means to choose right; It could be complicated for some and yet easy for others.

Choosing right starts with knowing you. Who are you? Do you know you? It would be unwise to decide whom to marry without knowing who you are.

Before I met my husband, I knew I was going to be actively involved in preaching the gospel, and whoever I was going to get married to had to have the same passion. In fact, I had dated two other guys whom I practically forced to love God and stay committed in church, but it didn’t work out, why? Because I was trying to go against who I knew I was.

Knowing you isn’t difficult. It starts with having a relationship with the Father. As funny as it sounds, no one knows you better than the one who created you. Psalm 139 gives a full picture of that.

If He knew each day of your life before you lived any of them, I dare say that He would also know the ‘right’ man for you if you’d allow him.

When this new relationship starts, as you continue to spend time with Him by reading your bible and praying regularly, God will begin to show you things that pertain to your life. As time goes on, you will begin to see flashes of your future, or see yourself playing certain roles. Your desires will begin to change, and your focus would begin to shift and focus on things that define who you are. You will become a new person.

“Do I need to go through all of this to find Mr. Right”?  You might ask. “I know people that are not born again that have good marriages”. I bet there are, and I know a few as well.

Let me say something here. A lot of people live by principles, and principles in themselves are truth and they do not usually fail; although they are beginning to. If you follow principles, you may get the expected results; however, you need to understand that people and principles are not the same. While principles may be constant, people respond to situations based on their feelings and beliefs, and their reactions per time would be driven by these factors.

So what do we need to do? In my opinion, I feel we shouldn’t live our choice of a life partner to chance. We must be deliberate, and ensure we are led by God.

Thank you for joining us on today’s chat. Let us meet same time next week as we discuss the practical things to do in choosing a life partner.

Have a great weekend.

TT
@fathersgirls

WISDOM FOR SINGLES AND MARRIED

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So hubby travels and gets me this gift “Hollywood Best Wife Award” or more like a “Tewe Best Wife Award”. When I got it, I was happy, but at this same time, I wondered if I really deserved the “BEST WIFE” tag on it.

Like everyone out there, I am not perfect; I make mistakes, get angry at him sometimes, complain, argue, procastinate, and do a lot of other things he may not like, yet he went ahead to get me the plaque.

What did he see, and what did I do right? How did I even get to this point of getting the award?

Many may think it was something he saw on the shelf, felt was a great idea to boost his emotional bank account with his wife, but I dont think so.

We have been through so many things that could have torn us apart, yet we are still standing.

Over the last few months, I have had to counsel young ladies and women who are having issues in their relationships and marriages. Some are opting for a divorce in less than 6 months, and they are wondering how they got there in the first place.

Marriage is good and honourable, but many are going through pain. Some ladies just want to have children with no strings attached… why, because they see the wrong things being modeled to them everyday.

I do not know it all, but in Titus 2:3-4, the bibles says that the older women should teach the younger women; teach them to comport themselves, to be responsible, and live their lives in such a way that would bring glory to God.

As a result of this, I would like to share regularly, as led by God, and people’s questions and perceived needs, the things that help us build better relationships that can be modeled to the world.

I will not be doing this alone, we would have mentors and role models answer questions and also share their experiences so far.

So join me this Friday, 25th of June 2016 by 7pm as I start a series I title “Wisdom for Singles and Married.”

We are in this together!!!

#thrivinghomes #healthyandgodlyrelationships #rolemodels #hearttoheart #sistasista #fathersgirls #weovercometogether

GIRLS AT RISK … MY VIEW

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I was asked to talk about “GIRLS AT RISK”, an area I am very passionate about, and here’s what I shared.

Supporting girls for me is a calling, and when I say “girls”, I mean adolescents, teenagers, and young adults in their early to mid-twenties.

Girls are special and very delicate, and the most critical stage of their life is the adolescent stage. Between the ages of 10 – 19, and sometimes earlier than that, girls transit into womanhood. All of a sudden, they begin to develop physically and psychologically; they become aware of their sexuality, have mood swings, and want to gain independence which is most times termed as rebellion.

At this stage, there is pressure to engage in high risk behaviours, which would ultimately cause more weighty issues for these girls.

So what risks are girls exposed to?

The girl child is exposed to a myriad of risks; some within her control, and some outside her control. Many times they have to battle with drugs, alcohol, depression, parental neglect, emotional abuse, sexual exploitation, sexual abuse, STDs, genital mutilation, unintended pregnancies, and early marriage to name a few. The sad thing is that each one of these behaviours, if not properly handled, may lead to infections, more depression and ultimately, death.

Regardless of the discrimination towards this group of people, we need to understand that these girls are human, they have dreams and aspirations like every other person on the street, and they need our support; first to educate them on the consequences of their actions, secondly, to help gain their self-esteem back, have a new vision for life, and lastly, to empower them to fulfil their dreams.

At Father’s Girls, a cause/advocacy group I run, we have been able to understand what these girls go through, and have chosen to look into an area where most people and organizations in Africa may not delve into, and it is the support for pregnant teenagers and single mother between the ages of 14-24. With 5 years of exposure into this area we believe in having many chances in life and we want to give them another opportunity to create a desirable future.

So what have we done recently?

We have 2 ladies we are currently working with.

The first is a 22 year old lady who has a 3 year old daughter. Her highest educational qualification is S.S.C.E (12th Grade). She is interested in fashion and also very determined to attend a fashion school. A few days ago, we assisted her in getting a job, and by April, her daughter would resuming in a school. This is to empower her to take care of herself, her daughter and eventually other girls at risk.

The second lady is in the same circumstance. She is yet to get a job, so we support her regularly with a stipend so that the mother and child can have their basic needs met.

My Charge to the society

Discriminating against young mothers is adding to the problem. Some schools are publicly shaming pregnant teens in front of their peers and suggesting they go to an alternative programs. Then there is all this talk about how pregnant teens drop out of school. Some even have to get odd jobs to fend for themselves. Who would not be depressed after hearing that broken record played day after day? They feel condemned already for getting pregnant at a young age. Some are disowned, thrown on the streets, and left to take care of themselves and their unborn child.

Are we in support of illicit sex or girls getting pregnant out of wedlock? Of course not. We need to bring society together instead of dividing it because discrimination from society is not working. Everyone needs to realize the cause and effect of discrimination. We need to be a part of the solution, not add to the problem. For just a few seconds think like a teen parent and put yourself in someone else’s shoes beside your own. These girls are young, and need the support of their parents and older women to help them through the process.

If you would like to be a part of this initiative, you can speak to me on 08090980600.

Thank you.

TT

INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY CELEBRATION

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To every woman who has had to go through the pains of motherhood alone.

To every woman thrown on the streets.

To every woman who despite the shame, guilt, and public humiliation still went ahead to give birth to life.

To every woman who has caused change in one way or the other;

We want you to know that you’re not forgotten on a day like this. We celebrate your courage and strength.

Happy International Women’s Day

I AM MORE (9 DAYS TO GO)

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Great Ife (Great). I Love you (Great). I celebrate y’all.  Ladies, 9 days from now we would be on your Great Campus, with the message of GREAT GRACE.

If you know anyone on this great campus, who needs a change, a touch from God, hope for the future, then this message is for them.

You are more than where you are currently. You are more than your background. You are more than your past. You are more than what you can see right now.

If you really love you some girls, I want to ask you to tag every lady you know on the OAU Campus till every girl is reached.

#iAmMore #WeAreMore #fathersgirls

I AM MORE

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Two tools the devil uses to stop you from becoming more are GUILT and CONDEMNATION.

He rubs your past in your face so much that, you know do have the strength to move forward; to aim high, to be more. He wants to confine you to where you are permanently.

This is a big lie baby!!! Get up, pick up your bed, and then walk away!!! YOU ARE MORE!!!

Tag your friends. Invite a sister. #WeAreInThisTogether #WeAreMore!!!

Saturday, 5th of March 2016.

10:00 am

Corporative Building , Behind Zenith Bank

#LetUsDoMoreTogether

MAKE SMART CHOICES

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MAKE SMART CHOICES

I got pregnant in my final year in secondary school. I was really scared. My parents kicked me out when they found out I was pregnant; they said they did not need another mouth to feed.

The baby’s father did not want to be a part of the child’s life. The guy’s parents ignored me and they spread rumors that the baby was not his, and people believed it, but the baby was his.

I had no where to go and no one to call. I was so depressed that I thought of killing myself or aborting the child. None of my friends could help me, because I was tagged by their parents to be a bad girl. It broke my heart when I realized I was all alone.

If I could re-write my story, I would have waited for the right time and right man.

My advice to teenagers is to abstain from pre-marital sex. It sounds old fashioned especially in the world we’re in today, but its worth the wait.